One Dozen Reasons for Knicks Fans to Remain Optimistic

The degree of difficulty on this piece is 10.0 but we're going to go for it anyway. It has never (and we mean never) been harder to be a New York Knicks fan than it is right now. While it's easy to kick them while they're down (and infinitely more enjoyable than actually watching them play), we're not going to do that (at least not today). That's right, we're going to do everything in our powers to identify 12 positive things in which a beleaguered Knicks fan can take some consolation. So, for advocates of glass-is-half-full-thinking (or "GIHFT") everywhere, here goes:

Top 12 Reasons for New York Knicks Fans to Remain Optimistic

Fact: The front office is – at best – incompetent and at worst – criminal.
GIHFT: There have yet to be any arrests and – in America – you're still innocent until proven guilty.

Fact: The Knicks have – for the first time in franchise history - lost 15 of their last 16 games.
GIHFT: On Jan. 27, after squandering a 25-point lead, the Knicks hold on for a glorious 97-94 win over the Orlando Magic – thereby averting (at least for the time being) the only thing worse than losing 15 of 16.

Fact: The Knicks lead the league in turnovers at 16.7 per game.
GIHFT: Don't think of them as turnovers ... think of them as passes to future teammates (i.e., players that Isiah Thomas is interested in acquiring). Hey, good team chemistry has to start somewhere ...

Fact: Anonymous sources are reporting that players are beginning to tune out coach Larry Brown.
GIHFT: Excellent news because this suggests that – all evidence to the contrary – they were actually tuning him IN at some point.

Fact: The Knicks have the second worst record in the entire NBA.
GIHFT: Thank God for expansion. As we're writing this (though it could easily change by the time you're reading it), the second-year Charlotte Bobcats are one game worse than the Knicks.

Fact: Thanks to the Eddy "The Franchise" Curry trade, the Chicago Bulls own the Knicks' first-round pick – a lock for the lottery – in this June's NBA Draft.
GIHFT: Knicks fans can rest easy knowing that the pick is no longer available to re-acquire the draft rights to Frederic Weis. Plus, Larry Brown is known to have little patience with rookies -- this way he won't have to be bothered with a nuisance like Adam Morrison or J.J. Redick.

Fact: The Knicks payroll is the highest in the NBA at $120 million and climbing steadily.
GIHFT: It's not our money that's being squandered (at least not directly) ... and if someone's going to be forced to watch helplessly as their money is flushed down the toilet it might as well be fan-friendly sweethearts like Jim Dolan and the rest of the Cablevision family.

Fact: The Knicks are 0-9 with Stephon Marbury out of the line-up.
GIHFT: See, Marbury really is more valuable than anyone realized (although 14-27 is only impressive when you're comparing it to 0-9).

Fact: At 14-36, the Knicks have established a new mark for the worst record in franchise history after 50 games (the 1963-64 squad opened the season 15-35).
GIHFT: The Knicks "only" have to win nine of their remaining 32 games to avoid becoming the first team in franchise history to lose 60 games. While far from a slam dunk, our sources tell us that Janet Jones-Gretzky likes the over.

Fact: For obvious reasons, no Knicks will be participating in the upcoming NBA All-Star Game.
GIHFT: Nate Robinson has been invited to participate in the dunking contest during All-Star weekend and he's a better bet to win it than the Knicks are to win nine the rest of the way (see above). Plus, everyone knows that a win in the dunk contest automatically translates into a long and productive NBA career -- just ask Harold "Baby Jordan" Miner ... or Kenny "Sky" Walker. Oh well, at least it gets you a cool nickname ...

Fact: Isiah Thomas is intent on trading Penny Hardaway (and his atrocious expiring contract) for the likes of Kenyon Martin, Darius Miles, Ruben Patterson or Theo Ratliff (and their equally atrocious multi-year contracts).
GIHFT: While other teams apparently liken negotiating with the Knicks to stealing candy from a baby, Isiah Thomas has (thus far) resisted including Channing Frye in any of the egregiously one-sided offers he has received. Reason to worry: The trading deadline (Feb. 23) is still ten days away ...

Fact: The Knicks worst loss of the season was a 33-point drubbing at home against the Los Angeles Lakers on Jan. 31.
GIHFT: Despite their woes, the Knicks will not suffer the worst loss in New York this season. That distinction belongs to the Brandeis High School girls basketball team, which suffered a 137-32 loss to Murry Bergtraum High School. In the game, Epiphanny Prince scored a record-setting 113 points. [Hey, we don't feel good about piling on the Brandeis girls either, but you try and come up with 12 good things to say about the Knicks!]

They said it couldn't be done but – against incredible odds - we have successfully delivered on our promise to come up with a dozen reasons why New York Knicks fans should refrain from wearing paper bags over their heads ... at least for a few more weeks.